I’m battling depression. I just sit here. in front of my pc doing nothing. battling my own mind. I want to do everything but I can’t. My mind is dormant. I’m cold.
I will always and forever feel this love for you. I wish I could explain it, to me and to you.
I’m missing you. I didn’t forget you or us. I’m missing us. I’m grieving.
But you have to know that I don’t hate you. You’re in me, in a silver precious box. You’re here.
I cry a little everyday. We’re gone. But it’s for the best. You’ll be great. I’ll be fine.
I still remember everything and miss it like crazy and I want to run to you. But then I stop and remember…
I hope you read and feel this.
I’m not hating you, I’m missing you.
I’m so excited :D:D
My halloween party is going to start around 6pm *_* I have all kinds of candy, 4 cats, candles, boyfriend and American Horror Story *_* is going to be sooooo greaattt! and in a bit I’m going to dress up with my dog as red riding hood and the wolf and we’re going out hahaha
What moves me?
The little things in life. Happy animals. Chokers. Halloween. Money. Work. Love. Candy. Photography. Writing. Movies. Stories. Books. Cats. Home. Alternative stuff. My store. Receiving letters… Antique stuff. Castles. Mistery.
I’m very simple. So simple. Too simple I guess.
I have this need to contro that no one understands. They don’t understand I don’t want to control them. I want to control myself. I don’t care about what they do. I care about what they do regarding me. I want to be able to control my life, my peace. My home. I want to feel calm in my own home. Feel the silence. I don’t want to have to fill my ears with music just to be alone. I want my space…I want my peace…I want my happiness…
Why does no one understands what I need…….no one…..
I don’t know what I’m doing. My head hurts. I want to cry my eyes out in a weird way.
No one gets why I need to cry…Why I want to punch them. Why I yell “for no reason”.
I’m afraid tomorrow I won’t know who I am.
I started my master this year and with it a new chapter in my life.
I lost control of myself. My anxiety took over and then depression took advantage. I lost a dear person. I lost half of me.
I’m being followed by two doctors. But I know that’s just to make me feel a little better, something to make me believe I’m getting better. I’m not, it’s just a distraction.
I feel sad everyday, I cry everyday. I desperate everyday.
This happens to me from time to time. Deep sad stages that get me to another level. But this one is just being so hard on me… I actually thought about killing myself. I’m not sure yet. I just know I need some kind of help. Doctors are not helping. I don’t have friends. My family just thinks I’m stupid. My bf can’t take of me all alone…I don’t want to feel like I need help but I need.
I never considered myself a gamer but the truth is that games have always been a part of my life. So maybe I am?…
Tha first game I spent days playing was “Tekken” on Sega x) I’d play it with my sister and my favourite was always Michelle J then I moved on to “Crash” on PS, I played it for years with my sister, or with my cousin or alone until I finished them all :p the rushhhhhh!!! And “micromachines” were also part, and “NBA” and moto races… good times…
I grew up and started writing and stopped it x) but when I finally had a PC I started playing again, first “GTA” XD then I discovered “The Sims”! It was my game until I got bored, I guess and two years I discovered those finding objects games and “PVZ” and “Obscure” and last year “Child of Light” and now I’m playing “Lucius” on Steam! (I was also addicted to Nancy Drew games for a while o.o).
And I love to play!
I started “Beyond two souls” on PS this year. I love killing in video games and I really want Aiden to be baaaddd and I want to kill people with himmmm!!!
What are your games…?