Bipolar disorder is a big terrifying monster. Always lurking. I can feel it every time behind me. The pressure, the fear, the anxiety, the sadness… and it’s impossible to runaway from.
I try but I can’t keep friends… even ones with similar troubles. It’s just to complicate to explain or to hide. It’s shameful. I tried to explain myself by saying “sorry, I’m just bipolar” but it’s awful, it’s stupid. I don’t want to get away by victimizing myself.
I want to be better. I want to wake to the same person every day. I want to feel the same way about every thing every time.
I’ve been diagnosed a year ago and I’m the same maybe even worse. And I’m medicated. And no friends in sight.
Life got serious and I got caught in the madness. Every thing’s wrong… I can’t work, I can’t leave the house… the only good thing is my writing because this is the right mood to put in words.