I’m home for christmas. And this is our tree,the same one since forever.
I don’t like the pressure I feel these days, I get very anxious maybe because something is expected from me, feelings, gifts, love..don’t know. But this time of year I always feel a little chill on my stomach, it’s a week full of christmas stuff and talking about the new year and planning things, food, clothes and I get truly overwhelmed and sad sometimes. And I just want to lock myself inside a room and wait for all to be over.
The one thing I like is being with my family. I like the 25th and the 1st. Those are the days when everyone’s home, watching TV together, eating candies, playing with the new toys… I think it’s the waiting for the midnight that really gets to me!! is it weird?
I like buying gifts! And this year I had to control myself X)
Isn’t it great when you recognize someone’s handwritting?
Sometimes I find a paper inside a notebook or around the house and recognize the handwritting and I love to know that it’s my mother’s or my boyfriend’s or my best friend’s, a giant smile instantly takes over my face :p
I don’t like people, I don’t like dealing with them but I love them. I love the complexity and I love to “study” and learn how a person operates. But it sucks ’cause I can’t controle it. Sometimes I know that person better than they know themselves. It sucks.
Some days I like to hang out and “study” people other days I just want to kill people and not being a person. And I’m really not, I don’t like being human so I’m a creature. I don’t hide who I am,never did,probably the reason why I never had friends and was always left out and called the anti-social one or the weird one or the different one. O.O
But hey, I love my people, my creatures, I finally found some creatures and they’re mine and I won’t EVER let them go HAHAHA